The Mighty Switch
by LaurenLefty
Summary: Vince & Howard have always been used to their own lifestyles, but what happens when a mysterious happening causes them to switch lives altogether? Little bit of Howince for those interested, also could include some violence, kidnapping and bad language.
1. Beginners Luck

**Hey guys :) I'm not new to fanfiction but this is my first Boosh story. Please enjoy, and if you don't like then don't comment please :) **

**I was watching the film 'Just My Luck' today & got the idea for this story! If you've seen it, then it will be easy to grasp, but if not I'm sure you'll grasp it anyway :)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: As much as I would like to own the Boosh, I don't, therefore credit to Noel & Julian for their fantastic show :) I own nothing but my own imagination.**

**Enjoy!**

**...**

Chapter 1 – Beginners Luck

It was October in Dalston, and a harsh wind was forcing itself down the street where the Nabootique stood.

It was rapidly blowing the beautiful black cape which belonged to Vince Noir, and as it billowed behind him, fine embroidered patterns sparkled at the base of the cape. His raven hair made no contrast with the cape, however the rest of his outfit did; shiny gold boots twinned with purple drainpipes and a white t-shirt with a silhouette of Gary Numan embossed on the front, in purple sparkles.

A childish smile played about his face as he strode majestically down the street, the wind making him look like a kind of God. He opened the door of the Nabootique, which swung open so harshly that the familiar bell ring sounded distorted.

"Hey Howard!" He beamed as he forced the door to shut behind him. However Vince didn't need to shout so loud.

Howard Moon, man of action, was already stood up. He wore brown pants (in aggressive chestnut) with an olive green turtle neck jumper covering his torso, with ancient loafers (in haunted muffin) on his feet. He was standing in an impatient pose with an even more impatient look on his face. His Bovril smudge of a moustache was even twitching impatiently.

"C'mon then. Why are you late?" He said, producing a brown flip pad & pencil from stationary village.

Vince simply smirked with the same smile.

"Were you straightening a lion's mane? Sewing sequins to a badger? Hmm?"

"No! Although that is very close!" Vince joked. Howard held the same facial expression, which was nothing like his 'Grief of a Sailor' look.

"I've been planning a party! It's tonight! You coming?" Vince asked.

"A party? Tonight? No Vince, last time we had a party, everyone found out I was a virgin, remember?"

"Oh yeah" Vince recalled in his mind tank, with a giggle.

"It's not funny! Anyway you can't have one, I've re-formed the Jazz Club, and we're meeting here tonight" Howard said. 

Vince groaned. "There's no way, Howard. I need the space tonight!" 

"You always have the space! Last night you used the whole flat as a catwalk to display your cape collection!"

"Alright, fine...you can have the flat...just have to call everyone, tell them it's off...including the girls..." Vince sighed, with a cheeky glint in his eyes.

Howard was suddenly more alert. 

...

Five hours later, the party at the Nabootique was in full swing. It seemed as if the whole electro population of Dalston had turned up. Vince was now in his usual sparkly mirror ball suit; however he was twinning it with his white cowboy hat and white boots. He seemed to be the centre of attention.

He scanned the room, but saw no sign of Howard. Half heartedly leaving the middle of the room, and pushing through his electro posse, he opened the door to their bedroom & saw Howard in a vomit-looking Hawaiian shirt & the same brown pants he wore previously, however he was now wearing his favourite socks & sandals combo.

"Whoa Howard, at _least _where the Library suit I made you; the jumpsuit style is in for starters. Do you seriously not have any other clothes?"

Howard threw him a look (depression of a baker). Vince held his hands up in a defensive posture.

"Alright, fine! Wear that, it looks...good, honestly...Just, come on, you're missing the party!" Vince smiled as he left the room. Howard forced a small 'woop' and left the room to join the party.

Howard scanned the room to see Vince surrounded by neon ravers and a few of Vince's usual 'mates', which included Leroy, who'd brought along slush puppies from his job at the ice rink. He earned himself a few dodgy looks from a few of the neon lovers nearby, and decided to head back to his room saying to himself that he'd make an appearance later...when most had gone.

Vince was too busy dancing & showing off the 'glory of his outfit' to notice Howards bleak appearance. However he did notice someone else, someone who wasn't Howard, but as dull looking.

This particular figure was sat on the sofa. Vince couldn't mentally comment on his outfit really, as he could only see a cape covering his entire body, which reminded Vince of when he and Howard made up a play about 'Pie.' He wasn't speaking to anybody, nor did he look like one of Camden's regulars. The usual curiosity overtaking him, Vince found himself walking over.

"Excuse me mate, you mind telling me what you're doing here? You on the guest list?"

The hood leant up to look at him, but Vince still didn't see his face.

"No" was all Vince got. Vince hesitated.

"Well...can you get out then, please? Because you're kind of cramping the style in here-"

"I can read your future, pretty lady" The hood cut in.

"Really? I mean, I don't really believe in all that stuff, but-"

"Sit down" The hood cut Vince off again, and beckoned Vince to sit down next to him. He then pulled out some cards from what must have been a pocket. He started dealing them as Vince looked round impatiently; he was missing his party, but he didn't want to feel rude by leaving this person.

The hooded figure laid the cards out & selected the first one, showing it to Vince.

The card displayed a highly detailed drawing of a four leaf clover and a Halifax Bank. Vince gave an almost comical look. The Hooded Figure sighed.

"I know, they modernised them recently. Anyway, this card displays that you are currently very fortunate (Hence the bank). It shows that you have lots of luck due to your popularity, amount of friends, style, trendsetting...you get the idea."

Vince smiled; he knew this already, but he liked it even more when he knew that others knew this. The hooded figure picked up a second card & displayed it.

This one was not in Vince's expectations. The modern Tarot card displayed a horrific motorway pile-up on the M4. 

"What does that mean?" Vince asked, with a hint of panic. The hooded being sighed.

"It means that you could be involved in a serious accident...not necessarily on the M4, but it could change your life-"

"This is a nightmare!" Vince cut in "Any way I can stop this?"

The Hood paused, and then spoke silently. "You kiss a close friend, and then the curse may be removed. If the friendship is strong enough, then your friend won't be affected-" 

"Listen Mate" Vince cut in "It's nice of you to drop by...but I've got a party to see to, and I don't really believe in all that stuff. Besides, I can't even drive" Vince said, earning a disappointing head-shake from the hood.

"See ya" Vince said, still panicked, as he walked off. The Hooded figure stayed where he was, leaving the cards spread out before him.

...

Vince wouldn't shake off the idea that the cards gave him as the night went on into the early hours of the morning. He'd had a bit to drink now, and was happily dancing away to electro music with his friends.

But it didn't stop him from thinking straight.

Howard emerged at long last, bored of loneliness, wearing his library suit. Vince suddenly had an idea.

"Heeeey, Howard! You made it out of your Jazzzzsh pit!" Vince slurred, walking over to him & hugging him. He didn't know if this was how drunk people acted or not, but it was worth it to stay out of character.

"Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me, not even whilst you're drunk...but...Vince!" Howard complained, as Vince still wouldn't let go. Complaining was useless, and Howard didn't mind really...

"I LOVE you, you know Howard...I really do...gimme a kiss Howard..."

It was worth a try. If Vince was really being this superstitious, then he might as well override the 'spell'. And what better to do it with than with his best friend? Vince leaned up and gave Howard a clumsy kiss on his lips.

Howards frown suddenly turned to laughter...did Vince really just do that? I mean, yeah, he was drunk, but still...no one saw, right?

Wrong. In the corner of the room, the hooded figure appeared to be looking over at the couple. He turned over the third card from the pile. It displayed two shooting stars, swooping across the sky, however they were crossing through each other and then going off in their separate ways. Even though his face was unseen, the figure displayed a creepy smile, and with a small pop, he vanished into thin air.

Vince decided not to tell Howard about the cards...he was scared this would disturb the cancelling of the spell or something. Before Howard could also spoil it by going in for another kiss (which he looked as if he was thinking about in Vince's 'drunken state'), Vince placed his white hat on Howards head.

"Hey Howard...that actually looks really good on you!" Vince said, looking in awe at Howards head. Strange...no hat suits Howard, right? Vince shrugged it off.

Overjoyed at Vince's praise, Howard started to dance even more.

"Hey, check it out, it's Howard! Howard Moon!"

Vince looked round to see Vince's mates, including Leroy, coming over. Vince then expected some sort of mockery to Howard; however, instead he heard compliments about his hat and people actually copying his jazz maverick dancing style. What was going on?

Realising that he was out of the newly formed circle, Vince stepped in to try to understand why people were suddenly acknowledging Howard. Surely they were joking with him...right?

"You know Vince; you look like a right berk in that jumpsuit. Tweeds in now, didn't you know?" Slurred Leroy, earning some agreeing laughs.

Vince was taken aback; he never gets mocked, not even at his own parties!

What in the name of Brian Christ was going on?

...

**Dun Dun Duuuuuuuun. Thanks for reading :) Reviews would be gladly appreciated and acknowledged! The more Boosh experienced of you should also be able to pick out the jokes from the telly show (are you ten?) and the live shows :)**

**The story will progress; I have plans and can't wait to write more :)**

**(Btw, I know nothing of tarot cards, so don't flame me for that...haha)**

**Lauren x**


	2. Tweed

**Ok so I'm sorry I've left it a bit but I've been very busy  
>I also just wanna share that I MET NOEL AT A SIGNING and it was the best day of my life! : D<br>anyway here's chapter 2 :)**

**...**

Vince emerged from his bedroom around half 1 the next morning. His head was pounding with the remains of the alcohol from the previous nights activities. He ran his hand through his slightly greasy hair and began his descent down the stairs, losing his footing half way and nearly slipping.

He cursed his clumsiness and reached the shop to find Howard already dressed and awake.

"Hey Howard" Vince said groggily.

"You alright little man?" he asked between sips of coffee.

"No, got a terrific hangover. You honestly feeling okay? You drank loads!" Vince marvelled. 

"I know but I feel fine "Howard smiled. Vince half smiled back. His moods were always sunnier than Howards... 

Vince noticed a discarded cheekbone magazine which had been left on the counter. He absent-mindedly flicked through it and turned to the fashion pages. To his surprise he noticed that tweed was in.

Tweed.

What was happening to the world? For once, Howard would be in fashion. Now Vince was one for keeping up with trends, but he would never wear clothes identical to Howard.

"So...you have a good night last night then?" Vince asked Howard.

"Yeah it was great! I got chatting to a few of your friends, they're all really nice! I even met a girl. We're going out again tonight, to the Velvet Onion!" Howard grinned, his Bovril smudge almost glittering.

"That's great, what time are we going?" Vince asked

Howard hesitated. "Well...you see...you're going to have to ask Leroy...you weren't exactly invited..." 

Vince froze. "WHAT?" 

Howard continued. "Yeah, don't know what happened there. But aren't you happy for me? I'm getting a social life at least..."

"-Howard you berk! I can't believe you didn't mention me or anything! I've got to speak to Leroy about this. I'll go and speak to him after I've been to the topshop sale" Vince said, before running back upstairs. He threw some of his usual clothes on with a purple cowboy hat to hide his greasy hair. He ran out the shop without a second word to Howard.

...

Two hours later and Vince emerged from Topshop; for the first time ever he hadn't bought anything. Everything he tried on was either too small, too plain (what?) or even worse, didn't even suit him.

He rounded the corner to find Leroy and a group of his usual friends.

"Hey guys! You all going out tonight?"

None of them acknowledged him as they were all too busy surrounding a plastic bag with a lumpy object inside. On closer inspection Vince could see that these were tweed pants.

"Guys? Hey what's going on? You're not serious about wearing those are you? Cheekbone must be having fashion block..." 

"Vince, didn't you get the message last night? Clear off, yeah? We've heard you're not following current fashion trends. If you don't wanna stay on top of fashion then you can't really hang out with us." Leroy spoke up, earning a few agreeing nods.

"Tweed? Guys, are you serious? Tweed is the main offender!" Vince yelled in defence.

"Your mate Howard seemed to have the right idea. Go and get some fashion advice off him! He was a right laugh last night. And yes we are going out, but we don't really want you hanging with us. Sorry" replied Leroy, before the group walked off and left him.

"Fine, I didn't need you anyway!" Vince yelled back.

_Fashion advice from Howard. _The sentence didn't even form right. Vince's world really had gone upside down. But why? 

The rain had just started to fall and Vince decided to walk back to the shop. It was already getting dark and cold. He cursed himself for forgetting his coat.

He walked in to the shop to find Howard, clad out in his worst attire and wearing a ridiculous grin.

"Hi Vince, look can you run the shop tonight? I'm off out early; I need to pick up Lester"

"Why?"

"Well, he's coming with me to The Velvet Onion-"

"What about me?" Vince interjected.

Howard sighed awkwardly. "Well...Lester doesn't get out much does he?"

Vince wasn't buying that. "I can't believe you're not taking me. I'm your best friend!" 

"Yeah...but it's jazz night at the Velvet Onion"

"Jazz night? At _The Velvet onion?_ They don't know what jazz is!" Vince argued.

"God Vince, where have you been living? Course it's in! It's the new music direction! Anyway you're allergic to it so you better stay in." And before Vince could argue back, Howard had gone.

Vince stood in complete silence. His mind tank had frozen, he had no idea what to do. The Velvet onion was essentially a place to play cool 'in the now' music, not Howards ballbag Jazz genre.

He trundled upstairs wearing a face of clear depression. Spotting Naboo and Bollo, who didn't even acknowledge him, he asked them if he wanted a cup of tea. Once they had agreed, Vince flipped the kettle switch and reached for a mug out of the cabinet, only for his hand to slip and he dropped it, sending thousands of ceramic shards all over the floor.

"Awh Vince, will you be careful? That was Bollo's favourite mug!" Naboo yelled.

"Yeah, you ballbag!" Grunted Bollo.

Vince froze. Ballbag.

Bollo only calls Howard a ballbag.

Vince sat on the floor, his back against the cabinets. He furrowed his brow in frustration from the blur of the previous night. How could things change so suddenly?

This definitely wasn't coincidence.

Did that kiss mean anything?

**I know it's not brilliant but build up chapters are a bummer when you have a story plan. **

**Please keep with me and I'd appreciate more reviews :)**

**Thanks x**


End file.
